You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
