Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
