Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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