So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
