Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
