Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
