youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
