Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
