after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize