i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
