I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
