Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
