I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
