k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
