So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize