watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
