laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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