before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
