Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
