is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
