I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am puke
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
