They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize