I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
