Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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