dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
