If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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