Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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