I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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