4 words: hood of his car
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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