I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
