i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
false alarm. still invincible.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
