I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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