Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
