I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
