I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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