i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
