Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
