I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
