wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
