Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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