You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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