sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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