Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
