I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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