We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
did i walk over a car last night?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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