I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
