I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
