Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
