Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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