So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
