the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
