Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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