Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
