Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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