from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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