great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
