Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
