i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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