If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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