yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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