he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
